Laughing At All The Right Lines

Our smiles faded in the rain

Looking back doesn't tell the future

Loving is not a simple task

Your laughter tastes like the universe

I get carried away from you

We swept the floor while daydreaming

Beneath the sky of endless dreams

Dewy trees and a mossy hammock

Little bit humble, little bit cautious

Light up the streets with sparks

Shy eyes meet an outgoing smile

I never really got over you

Words Spill Like Gasoline

Shattered, delicate fragments of memories were tossed in the pit and lit, they became ash in less than a minute, and every dragging second begged me to throw my heart in too.

Writing In Flat Tones

My inspiration has taken a scoop and hollowed me out

I haven't slept in days for missing it

I haven't had a dream

My inspiration was fooling me

And now I'm stuck in reality

A ditch of disappointing regret, scratching at my hope with every attempt to get out

My inspiration is miles away

Whispering loose fragments of lies into the wind for someone to catch with a butterfly net

But my pleads to be rescued are heard only by the walls

My inspiration is taunting me

Sending me love notes while I remain trapped

I won't sob at his words

Because inspiration left me

His Name Is Guarded, Her's Is Naive

He has the grand total of 53 sunny days in a year

She has rainstorms only after he's gone

He never told her he loves her

She has twelve freckles surrounding her collar bones, and you can see his heart in all of them

He has a temper that starts wildfires

She breathes in the flames to allow the destruction within her

Her name is written all over the walls

His is engraved into her heart

He shuts her out so he'll never know what it's like to lose her

She's too stubborn to ever give up on him

He kisses her while she sleeps so she doesn't know he's caving

She'll never leave, though all the rainy days are killing her

Wasting Away On Hollow Words

Tangled and fighting to stay awake because the fingertips along my spine are telling me it's okay to drift.

I must have.

Their spark is gone and all I have is the dim poison they left in my blood, undeniably toxic but not lethal. 

Don't torment yourself dearest, I'll survive your warm eyes and chapped lips grazing at my jaw line and ready to strike. My resistant limbs are hanging by strings and you're just putting on a show. Stuffed and bursting at the seams because I can't even choke out that I'm the one in control, but you're holding the scissors to cut me down. I don't care how high you have me off the stage, let me fall like the pennies I threw in the wells, all with the wish to forget you.

Magic failed me as much as your words, hollow and flat, used as often on me as the others perfecting their lipstick they hope to waste on your cheek. All so they can have a sip of the elixir my lungs are drowning in. So intoxicating it's suffocating and no matter how many apples I take a bite out of, I still don't find the one that slowly numbs and all at once takes away.

Trapped and begging for sleep because the shackles on my wrists are telling me I have to escape before I wither.
I must have.

Divided and Undecided

Who are you today? Heads or Tails?
Tails again, of course. The fickle side of a heavily biased coin,
And regardless of how many times I can toss it in a day, it endlessly lands on Tails.

Again.




And again.





And again.



I almost become tired of the echoing clink it makes as it clashes with the table,
But I just keep tossing, hoping for even the slightest glance at the other side.
Do I remember what it looks like? Toss.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Tails, should have known. Enough. You scream at me, the edges wearing thin. You think you're the one mistreated? Think again. All I ever get is the dark, faded, relentless Tails. Slamming against my heart the same way it does to the mahogany.

Is it courage or cowardice that tempts me to slide the coin away into my pocket and endure the burning reminder of Tails instead of leaving it to sit there and never pick it up again? Sometimes I hope you'll fall out and roll away so blame doesn't come looking for me. Then I could search for my escape, while you believe it was all your idea.

Just one more toss before you go.

You're Still Here Somehow

I thought I heard you the other day.

I didn't, because you're not here.

But if I close my eyes, I can still remember the details,

A creaky wooden chair with a country blue cushion facing the sliding glass door,

the glass is open, but the screen remains.

You're black shoes rest beneath the kitchen table,

I'm surprised they never left an imprint in the carpet there.

Thick, round glasses cover your milky eyes, 

matched with a smile that only deepens your wrinkles.

You used to sit down and pull out a cigarette,

Ashtray patiently waiting at your right, 

You would blow the smoke through the screen,

To the porch in the back,

The paint was peeling, but the garden was more important anyway.

Next was the crisp crack of a new beer can,

You're day wasn't complete without one,

And it leaves a hole to not see you with one

And it leaves a hole to not see you.

Keep Me Grounded

I remember I met you once.. Do you recall the little girl with long knotted hair and fierce innocence? I screamed in your face and you merely looked away, perhaps you're used to this.

After silence finally fell, you knelt down and told me I would be too fragile when it came the time I wanted to meet again and far too unfinished now. That we could see each other after I was whole and happy, after I would decide that I'd rather stay and never see you again.

You kissed my hand and pushed me away and I woke up with burning tears.

Let me tell you, this is not about living eternally after living devastatingly.

I am broken and hollow, but I am not weightless. So keep me grounded, I fear I might be fading away. The time has passed when I wanted to meet again so I don't know why I feel like you'll be visiting. Maybe to remind me that I don't want you anymore, but that I'm still not the picture you painted me to be to fall into your ever so welcoming arms. I still cry myself to sleep and I'm still missing the pieces that are slowly dimming, even in my memories.

The last I saw you, you wouldn't even look me in the eyes, were you ashamed? Were you feeling sorry? I don't believe you. You thought time was failing him, but did I even cross your mind as you snatched him up and carried him away. Did I even say goodbye? I'm still too bitter to know. I feel like screaming in your scornful face again, but I know you hear it all too often to recognize my anger above the others'.

Go ahead, pick me up and hold me close while I cry and kick and struggle my way out of your grip. I don't want you, don't you see that? Don't you see what you've done to me? I'm broken and hollow and becoming so weightless that it wouldn't matter if I faded away. I'm losing my grip on the ground and your heart is breaking while you watch it happen. "Hush darling," you tell me, "You'll be okay. You're not ready. I remember what I told you, but you can't keep waiting." I have no answer for you.

But I can tell you this, I can pick myself up without you. I don't need you to remind me how to live. Or how to stop living, really. I still cry myself to sleep and I still feel your kiss on my hand. I think of it and become heavy again, I feel almost whole. I don't want you. I never did, even when you told me how beautiful I am and brushed out the knots in my hair. Or when you whispered you were sorry. And definitely not when you wiped the tears from my face. So leave, and never come back. I don't want this.