Saturday, March 29, 2014

This Is The Best I Can Do

Dear dad,
Today you walked a sleepy posture out to meet me and I told your sunken eyes that I love you
But you have long forgotten the year I was born and I'm far from 7 years old
And so many nights I've wished we never changed
That you still kept you age and happiness
That I still kept my smile and ignorance

Yet here we are, drifting
Held together by fraying worn out strings and empty words
Yet they still crack my bones
All my foundations crumbled years ago
And I'm so tired of working with the rubble
But I've never walked away from you



Maybe it's the fading memories talking
But I swear you were different once
And I promise I still have your eyes
Even if yours look past me
I know I'm hollow but I'm not invisible

I looked up to you once as if you were my dreams
Encased in your heartbeat and rough hands
Now I stare at your chest and nothing more
And I spend my nights battling with the sting behind my eyes





I know one day my scars will fade into my skin
And I'll forget them, along with all the words you threw at me
But I won't forget your laugh
Or all your t shirts I used to wear

The truth is dad, I miss you
But you have long forgotten the year I was born
And I am far from 7 years old